Sunday, April 3, 2011

One of those sleepless nights...

This is one of those sleepless nights. It's 4:20 in the morning and I haven't yet slept. I don't know why I have these nights, but I have them 2 or 3 times a month. And many others where sleep is long in coming and restless when it finally does. I hear that this is simply one of the side-effects of fibromyalgia, and, of course, the sleepless nights often, though not always, go hand-in-hand with pain. I'm not sure which causes the other since sometimes the pain comes first and sometimes the sleeplessness does.

So, what does one do when one doesn't sleep? I sometimes watch t.v., often Facebook (though not right now since I've given it up for Lent), read, pray, clean, or lay in the dark and try to at least rest. It makes for long nights and even longer days.

I think a lot. This week, I've thought a lot about my mother who celebrated her 30th year in Heaven one week ago today. I have to concentrate to bring her face to mind now, and often go to pictures to help. I can no longer remember her voice and have no sound bites of her to keep it fresh in my mind. It's been 30 years, after all, since I last saw or spoke to her. And yet, I miss her. Terribly. I still catch myself thinking I should call and talk to her about one thing or another. I look forward to the day when there will be no more parting or sorrow or missing.

Love you, Mama!

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